LIVING LA VIDA LOCA!!!

i would like to give a full report of my Raya but i REALLY HAVE TO STUDY… as usual i’ll promise i’ll update later, just booking the date, but will never update it… hehehhe…

i’ll paste the pictures during raya.. the highlights of it.. the sengal pix, the family pix, the KETANI nite pix.

I was not well the whole week of raya. and still was forced to emcee the KETANI NITE (it wasn’t my best emceeing moment and i was not in my element that nite.. but what to do, the decision was vetoed by someone else… macam aku takde exam jer… ) and my partner was changed (Love u A!).

didnt have open house for friends like last years coz too busy with family affairs (open house, KETANI nite, relatives from Thailand). only managed to go to Esoh’s open house. Rumah Nolee sempat singgah jap b4 balik Shah Alam, went to Ucu’s. Ayie and Meksa wasnt home when i went to their house after Mek Na’s merisik ceremony.

Enjoy the pix peeps (especially beloved Sister nun jauh di Ireland, Tengku Nur ‘Atiqah)

-6 hours later-

anyway, instead of putting up pictures here, i’ve decided to make a slide… banyak giler, and lamer giler pilih gambar out of more than 1000++ pix of kitorang yg pantang tgk camera nih!!! giler betol!!! so checkout my slides OK!!! it’s my first effort ever!!!!

It’s 3.13am and i juz woke up an hour ago… lepas berbuka, showered - terus tido.

Maner tak pancit, we gerak from Shah Alam around 3.30am (WITHOUT ANY SLEEP), belom pape kat Karak dah jem sikit… then instead of going straight towards Raub, as usual we took left to Bentong… and Oh My God!!!! the jam was horrendous!!!!!

we stopped at a kedai makan for Megat Ris to sahur but all the makanan habis.. so makan stock in the car jer.. then a few minutes b4 azan we stopped at a Surau for Subuh (where megat ris false alarm kehilangan slipar). and when we continued our journey.. skali Pipi dah call show off cakap dah nak masuk Lipis and gelakkan me sebab ikut Bentong. Lahanat betul.

By 6.45am i could barely open my eyes, nak sms Nona (my cousin in the MyVi in front of my kelisa) xder line, so had to flashed her car madly.. pastu baru perasan she was sleeping. ADUH!!!! then by 7am nak tak nak i had to let Farah (my sister in the other car behind me) took over. But I couldn’t sleep coz had to kep my eyes on her.. bersepah kereta eksiden the whole way… so tido2 ayam je.. kejap2 bangun coz terkezutkan braking kuat dibuat Farah.. arrrghhh!!!!!

Then at around 9am baru bukak mata betul2.. still jam!!! so i got out of the car (without stopping kt tepi jalan pon… main kuar and jalan jer… sebab tgh jem) and amik camera from kak we, siap tangkap2 gambar our cars lagi.. hahahahha…. menghilangkan mengantuk dan kebosanan.. i took some pictures, then around 9.30am i took over the driving (and Pipi call berlagak sebab me still got 250km to go, dier kate jarak dier dah two digits dah - SIOT!). an hour later, mengantuk datang balik, yelah…. asik jem jer.. dah laa sleep deprived, 2 jam tido lam kete pon tak macam tido, because of Farah’s scary driving. So Nona took over and i jumped into the MyVi with Jaja..

Didnt really sleep pon in MyVi, but could barely open my eyes.. memang dangerous kalau drive jugak coz most of the car yg eksiden sepanjang jalan mesti sebab ngantuk.  Around  12 kitorang reached gua musang RnR,  where we meet another three cars (friends of my couz yang hilang during the convoy, hahahaah). The baru perasan ader misscalls from Pipi (i put my phone on silent coz nak tido). I texted him. He called. And asked me dah sampai maner. So i told him. And he said, "nanti akan jem teruk kat Kuala Krai… teruk giler babas!!! aku mintak maaf laaa.. sebab jem tue aku yang buat, aku eksiden", at first i tot i didn’t hear him correctly, but then after he repeated what he said, baru lah faham Pipi was involved in a pile-up accident. 3 cars and his was the one in front.. adoi!!! kesiannyer!!!!! tapi since his voice sounded cool and sempat gelak2 lagi… i told him padan muka sebab riak sanat tadi, sebab tuelaa eksiden.. tapi memang kesian pon…

And true to his words, memang jem yang amat towards Kuala-Krai!!!! and bukan kereta dier je yang piled-up.. i think every 100metres kot ader pile-up.. ni mesti kereta2 yg selfish yang memotong sebelah kanan (it was a one lane road ok!) and nak menyelit tiba2 biler ader cars coming from opposite direction lah ni… tuelaa.. Tuhan tu Maha Adil… i snapped a few pix using Nona’s camera (aaaaaaaarrrrggghhhhhhhhh NOW baru ingat luper nak suruh kakwe tangkap gamba kitorang when driving side by side.. mesti sebab dah takde mood nak tangkap gamba… yelaa berbelas jam dalam kereta. dah separuh giler dah..).

After waking at about 1.30pm (with misscalls from Que and others). Tok Ku called and told me Que (who left Shah Alam AFTER sahur around 6am) balik ikut PERAK, pkl 8am dah lalu PERAK - adoi!!! tension!!). I offered to replace Kak We but she said kalau nak drive pegi ganti Nona but Jaja kater takper.. biar Nona drive.. (Kak We dah bukak puasa sebab tak tahan ngantuk, so kena minum and makan). So i rest a bit more. Then when Adibah jumped into MyVi kat Petronas Kuala Krai (coz Jaja’s fren org Kuala Krai, so her journey ended there) i swapped places with Nona and drove DAJ 5333 again.

This time i led the way… i cleared the way so that DAF 5333 behind me could go in first (nak masuk jalan besar balik from PET) then only i overtook DAF. Time nih MyVi tertinggal.. ingatkan dah ikut jalan lain, tapi Nona smses and said ader kat belakang… Then Kak We called, cakap dah takleh nak bukak mata dah… so we stooped kat tepi jalan (by this time it was drizzling and jem tak standstill) and swapped places, me jumped into DAF’s driver seat (it’s manual Farah can’t drive manual), FARAH took Kelisa’s wheel and Kak We sat next to her in Kelisa. Nona’s MyVi overtook us maser kitorang berenti swap kete.

We parted kat mane ntah, coz we were heading to Kota Bharu and MyVi’s taking the new bridge near Pasir Mas. Mula2 igt sempat zohor at Tok Ku’s but tak sempat. So we stopped and jamak takdim at Ketereh. After prayers, Kak We took the DAF and I took DAJ. At about 4.34pm (i’ll check the pix later) we arrived at the Telipot traffic light!!!! YAY!!!!!!! KOTA BHARU FINALLY!!!!!! seronok gilerrrr!!!!!!! Dropped Megat Ris and Nda Chik’s maid at Tok Ku’s (Nikna dah tersengih2 sebab dier dah sampai 4 hours earlier), then me went to Stadium straightaway!!!!

It WAS SOOOOO GOOD TO GO TO THE STADIUM (where the MOST HAPPENING bazaar Ramadhan in Kelantan is). Kitorang seronok sampai jakun giler tengok makanan SEMUA BEST!!! the colours of the food are all correct (don’t look artifical like the ones in shah alam) and of course.. YUMMY!!! raser nak beli everything jer.. tapi mengingatkan kebaya yg sempit.. tk jadi.. hahahahah..

So we bought the things we craved most first - UDDIN"S KEBAB and Murtabak Pak Nik.. diorang pon heran tgk kitorang excited giler, what with Farah taking pictures and all.. and suddenly tgh jalan2 tuh i saw my ex. With my junior from Maher. I recognize her but she couldnt even bring her eyes to look at me. I wanted to walk pass him but he elbowed me so i had to acknowledge him. As for the girl - buat tak nampak jer… why should i? she should tegur me if she wanted to, she’s my super duper junior for God’s sake. I know that she knows me. But of course i’m not gonna say anything to her.

It’s not that i’m jealous or anything. or still in love with him (GOD, I’m SOOOOOOOOOOO OVER HIM), it’s that i feel insulted that he replaced me with my junior!!! He hated my school okay!!! He always told me we’re just a bunch of poyour kids at a poyour skool.. in short, budak-budak sekolah macam bagus (dduuhhhh… what other school is COOLER than the glorious AHMAD MAHER pon kalau kat Kelantan tuh??). SO WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS HE DOING WITH MY JUNIOR? From my poyour skool???? Does he know that my juniors are worse than my batch in that school? (I mean, he hated the people i mix with, those younger than my batch lagiiii laaaaa… namer lagi budak2).. last2 haruslaa sangkut dengan budak Ahmad Maher jugak…

Now i feel i wasted 3 years of my life mourning for him. Just to have him replace me with my junior? Oh GOD!! nasib baik me dah move on, and not the same person i was 5 years ago anymore.  I felt so sick. What has gone to all his philosophies? Dat people like me are beyond his life? He can’t fit in with people like me?? He’s with my junior (and believe me i know this batch very well) when he couldn’t even stand the way I was (hasil daripada persekolahan di Ahmad Maher laa i mean)!!

Well like i said. Tuhan tue Adil. Kita tengoklaa how long they can be. How long he can live with the Maher kinda life.

Anyway… we got home lepas borong a few more things (and meeting Smek yg baru sampai from KL kat tempat parking kete - tapi dier fly laa), Ku Zett menjerit kegembiraan tgk all her sisters are home at the same time.. penat dier tunggu kitorang since morning lagi.. maklumlah.. koya nak sampai rumah pkl 11 pagi.. alih2 5.30 petang baru nampak batang hidung kitorang..

Mama masak our favourite dishes.. lepas buka puasa and dinner me terus pengsan while all my sisters went shopping at KB Mall..

4.15am. Ajah OUT.

First week of puasa..

- hey let’s buka puasa with the gang, can celebrate her birthday as well
- (me) naahh.. no need. takder maser ah.
- oh come on, let’s.

few days later.. announcement made, smses sent, calls made.

- very few replied
- many not even bothered replying saying they can make it or not

postponed to the next weekend so that many can join the gathering

- no bloody replies
- having buka puasa with so and so..
- transportation problem
- my bf is yada yada yada….
- i can’t promise anything, i might buka puasa with my so and so..
- i’m damn busy

on the day the gath were supposed to be (either i was driving to TAR College or was in class trying hard to understand financial strategies)

- can’t make it. sorry
- who else is coming?

why do i ever bothered? oh yes of course i realise i’m still studying while most are working. but i’m doing bloody CiMA for God’s sake. Yeah u may say "alaaa.. sebulan lagi.. lambat lagi Final".. okay, to those who don’t know me that well, I can juz say this, kalau stakat Diploma i can just study THE NIGHT BEFORE EXAMS, and i’m pretty sure i can STUDY A COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE EXAMS if i’m just doing a degree.. but it’s bloody professional papers. So i also have big responsibilities. I’m tired of working around everybody else’s timing ("kau kan tak keje, student ader banyak maser…" was always the line i keep hearing) and going the extra mile to find a suitable location [to fit everybody's budget, taste ("alaa.. aku tak suker laa makan itu.. aku tak suka laa makan nih..") and solve the logistic problems].

the food at Nelayan sucks. but i went anyway coz i wanted to meet my MRSM KT friends. So i made the EFFORT to clear my schedule and went. I only communicated thru the net for Rockensteiners gathering and all went well eventhough i had to change the venue and date.

why do i ever bother when i don’t even get an sms reply? why do i have to try to make things easy for others and trouble myself, when i don’t even get a decent reply? Well now i’ve to put my priorities right. if the calls go unanswered and smses not replied, well guys, i’m studying. I can’t be bothered to reply. NOW, WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER EXPLAINING????

It was a pleasant surprise when Faizal showed up for a while at the All
Sports Cafe… it was a casual buka puasa do i organized for the Rockensteiners. About a dozen came. Nobody knows he’d drop by but Dragon did mentioned to me he’ll ask Faizal to drop by if he can.

And walla.. he did came! Walaupun sekejap gumbira juga raser hati ini.. aku minat Faizal Hussein lebih sedekad pon tak penah jumpe.. Minat Faizal baru tahun nih dah dapat jumpe.. hahahaha.. sape Rockensteiners yang tak join or cancel last minute.. too bad guys..

To those yg haven’t sign up, please do at http://faizaltahir.proboards83.com. Here’s a few pix of me with FAIZAL (Yay!!!) and with the other Rockensteiners. The one in Superman tee is my partner. We’re joint Project Managers for the Rockensteiners Launching tentatively set this Nov 26th.

After more than 3 weeks being a fanatic of Faizal Tahir of OIAM (skarang dah tak berape fanatik coz i found out that i kinda-know his wife, huehue - i mean, cam pelik minat giler kat husband member kan? hahaha), and spending the whole puasa (so far) engrossed with everything about him (yeah i know, saiko, first time wei minat solo singer kat Malaysia nih!!), (okay kinda terpesong from the objective - i just wana say how boring my life is now that i even have time to be a fanatic fan to a singer) i got an unexpected sms which surprised me and  somehow overwhelmed me a little bit.

I have a friend. A very nice guy. He used to pick me up at Section 17 subuh2 hari (back then Kak We wasn’t in Shah Alam) and send me a can of Coke to my apartment malam2 buta before my final exam. I always thought it was only favours done by a friend. I mean, this guy is known as one of the nicer ones in the faculty, so he could have done the same thing to anyone. 

But tonight, after he’s already ENGAGED, only just now he told me that "i was serious, tapi you take it as a joke. What to do then, maybe you weren’t interested". I was perplexed at first, then surprised then was like "wtf?" and after it sank in, i was a bit overwhelmed. And being a person who always think of the IFs in my life… a caleidoscope of images ran through my head. All the IFs were jogging through my tired brain (it was near 1am).. Laaa.. biler maser pulak nih? Tak penah perasan any hint pon? I never really dated anyone from my Faculty. I think I know the reason why but malas nak citer kat sini nanti misconstrued and deemed perasan pulak.

Something suddenly bypassed my mind. A friend (a guy who met his ex during Mingle2 in the park. haha) actually pointed out  to me that that guy actually fits my criteria. He laughingly said "aku tau kau suker orang macam dier, smayang on time, pandai… pegilaa tackle dier" and I did nothing about it. Seriously, maybe a lot of people think i flirt a lot. To say that i don’t will be a lie. But i’ve never pursued anyone that i REALLY like. Orang kater "hanya memandang dari kejauhan". And all the guys i used to like or like are always TAKEN. I’ve never broken anyone’s relationship before and i don’t have any intention to do it in the future. No matter how much i like that certain person, i don’t wanna built a relationship out of someone’s misery. So i won’t do anything (though sometimes i did wish they’ll break up and will hook up with me. only SOMETIMES okay!).

Not that there wasn’t anyone who confessed to me before, but it has been quite a long time since someone did. WHY IS IT THAT IT’S ALWAYS TOO LATE??? WHY CAN’T THEY JUST COME TO ME AND SAY IT? WHY DIDN’T THEY TRY HARD ENOUGH? AM I THAT DIFFICULT OR INTIMIDATING? Or they are just being guys? Afraid too much about getting their egos injured and afraid of rejection?

I opened my gallery of 1300 ++ pictures in my laptop and search for our pictures. There were like 5 pictures of us during the faculty’s programmes. Smiling to the camera. Oh God. Why does this always happen to me? I know i hurt someone in the past. But only ONE. And i already paid for it when i was hurt sooooo much it took me 3 years to forget it (which when i think of it now it was a bloody waste of time actually).

Or maybe what he had for me was lust. That’s why he never tried hard enough. *sigh… ader sape2 lagi ker yang nak buat confession nih? hahahaha… kidding2… am actually making fun of myself for the things that i missed.

-600 hari mencari cinta-

This is a song that can rival Dealova… heheheheheh… This song was composed for Faizal Tahir and sang during One In A Million Finale. It has been recorded as a single and will be out soon.

Begitu berat melangkah
melihat kau bersamanya
Adakah aku yang salah
atau hanya helah saja

Ku masih mencintai diri kamu
Biar kau menjauh
Ku rindu…

Kau bagaikan udara
yang membantu aku untuk terus hidup di atas dunia
Tanpamu ku lemah
pasti aku tak berdaya
Kerna kau mahakarya cinta…

Biarpun kau tidak mahu
menerima kasih daku
Ku kan setia bersamamu
sehingga ke akhir waktu

Ku masih menyayangi diri kamu
Biar kau berlalu
Ku rindu…

Kau bagaikan udara
yang membantu aku untuk terus hidup di atas dunia
Tanpamu ku lemah
pasti aku tak berdaya
Kerna kau mahakarya cinta

Kau takkan dapat aku lupakan
kerna kaulah punca cinta kita
Mengajar aku erti bahagia
Kembalilah……….

Terimalah pesan daku
yang akan terus menunggu…