LIVING LA VIDA LOCA!!!

10 April..

Brings back the sad memory… yes it’s sad.. but i can never forget it.. not that i want to.. it hurts.. and it cuts..

oh well.. i’ve a meeting with boss in 40 mins. i’ll continue when i get back.

Oh Gosh.. it took me almost two months to update this one.. well here goes..

Tengku Yuhanis Aini is my 6th sister.. departed this cruel world at about 6.30pm at the GH.. on 10th April..

I still remember vividly how it unfolded. Is already told me the night before that she was hospitalised but since Mama didn’t call, I thought it’s something minor. I knew she was stung by a hornet. But God… I didn’t know how lethal the poison of that bloody hornet’s sting was. So I just sat for my Business Law final paper on 10th April morning like nothing alarming was happening..

After the exam, i got a voice mail from Mom telling me about Anis in hospital and asking me to come back home. I packed my stuff and took the bus from Machang to KB. But I wasn’t in a hurry coz I thought it’s juz routine she had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. And Mom’s voice wasn’t alarming.

When I arrived in KB, i was a bit pissed coz nobody was available to pick me up so i walked all the way from the bus station to the hospital. When I reached the hospital, I could see the ward. I didn’t know that was her ward until I saw quite a number of my relatives milling around.. the alarm in my head started going off like crazy.. I practically ran to the ward. And what I saw feared me. My family was reciting the YaaSin… When they saw me they told me to go inside an adjoining room quickly to see her ("cepat! pegi tengok adik!").

What I saw devastated me.. There she was, lying unconcious with all sorts of wires and tubes all over her body. And my cousin who was a doctor there, was pumping oxygen manually into my sister’s mouth.  She was supposed to be transferred to the ICU but the ICU was full we had to wait until they got someone out of it first. She was too weak to be transferred to HUSM so there was no other option. When we heard the ICU was ready.. they pushed the gurney out of the ward towards the ICU at the opposite block. But the attendants/nurses were too slow me and Nda Jah took charge. We pushed the trolley as fast as we could without disturbing Anis’ condition while Kak Nik (my cousin) ran beside the gurney with the oxygen pump. That was one of the longest run I ran in my whole life.. getting Anis from ward to ICU.

Once we got to ICU i thought my sister was in good hands and she was going to be okay.. So when i was asked to pick up my other sisters at their schools I didn’t hesitate. I went to MRSM PC to pick up Farah, and amidst the panic, I got a bit lost it took me longer to reach MRSM. I managed to get Farah out as soon as possible and my next stop was Naim. I went to Naim to look for Atiq but she wasn’t there at the gate. I went to look for her at Mukherjee’s but I didn’t see her. Little did i know she saw me from her friend’s car but couldn’t manage to get my attention. I went back to Tok Ku’s.

Just as i reached Tok Ku’s house my cell rang. I was asked to hurry back to hospital coz Anis was in critical condition. Without thinking of my foot that has just gone under a minor operation, I ran on the tarred drive of my grandpa’s house barefeet to tell Tok Ku about it. Or was it Ayah Yeh? It’s kinda blur to me. I sped as fast as I can to GH and almost parked at the ambulance parking space. I didn’t care anymore. Farah and I sprinted to the ICU. I could see many relatives outside. I panicked. I ran inside and wore the coat given to me.

Mama was already sobbing and asking where was Atiq and I told her I could not find Atiq. Someone asked Jijiey to go and find Atiq. I looked at Anis trying to be resuscitated by the medical team and I started to cry. I was told to go near her and whispered the Syahadah to her ear. I did as I was told. Oh God.. that was the worst feeling ever. I cried and cried and watched Mama sobbed. Kak We was in Korea so I was the eldest in the family. I had to be strong for Mama’s and my younger sisters’ sake. Then the doctor told mama Anis couldn’t be saved. I lost control but my family hugged me and told me to "beristighfar" a lot. Aku raup wajah adikku perlahan dengan hiba sekali. I cried and said it wasn’t fair that God took two of my closest family within 40 days. Only 40 days before Ninda was called.. and now my sister.. my little sister.. and my auntie almost scolded me for saying that.

I walked out weakly out of the ICU. It was a blur. I think a lot of people were trying to comfort me.. but i was out of control. Tok Ku and Nda Jah decided to bring me back to his house. And it was decided that Anis’s body will be brought back to Tok Ku’s place. I managed to call a few of my friends to tell them the news.. I wanted to die that time.. I really did.. I helped Nda Jah preparing the bed in the same room Ninda had been in.. to receive Anis.. Anis’ body.. Anis my sister whom I didn’t get the chance to say any last word to.. whom I didn’t even remember what was the last word I said to her..

It was already past Maghrib and i was still in my shirt and jeans. They wouldn’t trust me driving back home so they asked Jijiey to drive me and Farah home. To shower and change into baju kurung.. and pick up my two youngest sisters at Cik Yah’s. I was angry when I heard on the phone Cik Yah told my sisters "Anis dah mati" when I called her to tell the news. That was a bloody rude, and inconsiderate thing to say to toddlers aged 5 and 2. I really hate her for that. I really do. I picked up my two sisters.. hugged them tightly in my arms and cried again.

We all went back to Tok Ku’s and cars were all over Jalan Tengku Ismail. People kept pouring in. Anis had arrived and i was told the Queen came and already left. I went inside with my two sisters. Ku Zett, the youngest said "Anis Do" which means "Anis Tidur".. and Nadiah just looked at Anis’ body without saying a word.. without shedding a tear… Demi Tuhan sungguh aku amat hiba ketika itu.. Mama was really blown and still crying. And Atiq fainted. Ayah Yeh’s brother carried her from the car into the house. I couldn’t remember whether it was before or after I went home.

Oh God… I can’t go on typing about this.. maybe i’ll continue tomorrow or maybe some other time.. this brings back all the memory of the blackest, saddest, most devastating day in my life….