Dearest Sisters and Cousins,
Today is 1st March, marking the 5th year Ninda passed on… Marilah
kita sama sama sedekahkan ayat-ayat suci Al-
Quran, especially YaaSin kepada Ninda.
Al-Fatihah to beloved Ninda…
Last Friday, as I was salivating watching my all time favourite actor, FAIZAL HUSSEIN on Sembilu Kasih (yeah yeah say whatever you want, I watch it just to see Faizal ok), Mek Tett received a call from Pipi. The dreaded day has arrived.. So unexpectedly.. Elisa’s father, Uncle Roslan, just passed on, answering His calling.
We didn’t even know Mek Sa went home again. Uncle has been sick for years.. Tett and I was really blown by the news.. One of our bestest friend in the world has just lost her father.. The father that she’s been taking care of every time she’s home in KB during semester breaks. The reason why she rarely join us whenever we have gatherings every time we go back to our beloved hometown.
I gathered myself and call her straightaway. Listening to her cry really broke my heart (God, now I’m crying again). I so wanted to be strong for her, but I myself broke into tears. We exchanged a few words then I hung up. I told her my flight was due the next day’s afternoon. She told me uncle will be buried in the morning after Subuh.
I was on my digi number (had to go to police station. but that’s another story to tell) until late that night. When I switched on my maxis number, there it was, a message from Elisa telling me her father has passed away. And there I was thinking that I have to hear the news from someone else when I was among the first people she informed the news.
The next morning I woke up early to finish my packing. I left my PDA in the office so I dropped by to pick it up. And oh my, they had so much fun laughing at me coz I was wearing a white cotton baju kurung complete with a cream coloured tudung. I explained to them I was going straight to a funeral from airport but they just laughed at me, saying I just acted “baik” since I was flying back with my grandpa. Which was not true at all. Cis..
That was the second flight I took wearing baju kurung, the other being my flight back on one Friday morning when I planned to visit my sister’s grave (which didn’t actually happen because I missed the flight due to some fraud done by some moron).
I touched down on KB’s land almost at 3pm. I don’t really remember because I slept throughout the flight since I had only a few hours sleep the night before. Mama was already waiting and I took over from Mom and drove straight to Elisa’s house.
There was nobody outside the house but for several cars. I pushed the door open and saw auntie surrounded by a few women. I hurled myself into her arms and again, couldn’t stop myself from crying when I hugged auntie tightly in my arms. She whispered to me not to worry and that she’s fine. Seeing how cool she was that time really tore me. I don’t know how much tears she’d cried, how painful it was for her but I could really connect. It was a feeling of déjà vu, the situation was familiar to almost 5 years ago, when I lost my beloved sister, Anis (may God Bless her soul).
I met Amy near the kitchen and hugged her tight. Then she showed me to Sa’s room. There she was, lying on the bed, whispering to the phone. She hung up on Mustaqim and we hugged each other for a several moments. She looked haggard, exhausted and there’s sadness in her doe eyes.
I listened to her talking about her father’s last moments with the family. How peacefully he left. I told her that she should be grateful to Allah that he went really peacefully, and her family has done their best to take care of uncle. There should be no regrets. She told me that she’s happy to see how peaceful her dad looked like after they bathed and covered him with that 7 layers of white cloth.
We went out to the living room and after I’ve hugged auntie before I left, my phone rang. Damn! The ambiance was quiet and suddenly my phone broke the hushed whispers in the house. It was Aleena, thinking I was home and wanting to visit Sa with me. I told her I went there straight from airport. I passed the phone and they spoke for several minutes while I waited in the bright sunlight outside. I went home promising to visit her again.
2 days later was Elisa’s 24th birthday. I called her shortly after midnight. I was at a loss of words actually. How do you wish a “happy” birthday when someone has just lost one of the most important people in her life? I told her I’ll drop by in the evening.
True to my promise, I went to her house bringing her favourite “kek batik” I made in a hurry (but still tastes as good k). She wasn’t at home but auntie said she’ll be back shortly. She came back with Zafwan, bringing lunch for the three (Auntie, Ami and her) of them. She beamed when I showed her what I brought.
We chatted in the kitchen and J’ma came minutes later. I left around 5pm to pick mom at the office.
And today, Thursday, 3 days later, Aleena and I went to visit Auntie (I promised Sa before she left for Shah Alam yesterday). We arrived at the same time with Ezulia’s mother so we didn’t get much chance to speak to her. But as long as she looks okay, I’m contented. And Sa’s grandparents from her dad’s side came over as well..
We left after making sure that she’s okay. I know she looks okay but nobody knows what she’s feeling deep inside. I hugged her tightly one last time and told her I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon. I told her I’ll come over when I get back this May.
God has His plans for us. We’ll never know and we can only be prepared. But how prepared are we to face his tests, to weather the trials He put upon us, mere mortals?
This is Sa’s turn to be tested. I have and will do my damnedest to stay by her, be the shoulder to cry on, and support her all the way through this trying moments.
Al-Fatihah for Uncle Roslan. May he rests with the blessed souls… Amin…
Mom bought more than a dozen of towels recently. Different colours, shades, sizes and patterns. Some of my sisters have picked theirs. So when I got home I wanted to choose one for myself. There are many different choices I don’t know which to choose.
Okay I know it’s not a big deal at all but it juz crossed my mind.. How do you actually pick the perfect towel? Do you have to be NAKED and test it? To look how it goes with your skin, and how it wraps your body? Or close your eyes and juz pick any of it. Or choose one with your favourite colour?
Pray tell, dear friends..
As I’m typing this, today marks A YEAR of me being SINGLE after breaking off with Eddie.
1) What do I feel about this? Proud coz I’m not the type who easily replaces a partner.
2) Am I happy being single ? YES. You may say that.
3) Do I regret leaving my ex ? Not at all. His sister is a nightmare.
4) Do I regret knowing him ? 50-50. He drawn me out of a 3-year single-dom, but the grief he gave was also deep.
5) Do I want to be in love again ? With the perfect man for me, of course.
6) Do I flirt ? When I’m dead bored, yes.
7) Did I date anybody after him ? Seriously, NO. Only hang out with friends these days.
Do I want to get married ? Kalau ader yg mahu menatang bagai minyak yg penuh, YES, WHY SHOULDN’T I??
9) Do I envy my friends who are getting married ? I’m happy they’ve found their soulmates.
10) When is the time that I feel like wanting a boyfriend MOST ? When I have to attend functions. I hate attending functions without escort. Eheheh..
11) When do I want to get married ? Before 30 I hope, or as soon as I find my better half.
12) Do I go out to look for my better half ? I believe if there’s one for me, we’ll meet eventually.
13) Do I feel depressed that most of friends have a partner? Only when they can’t go out with me because they have a date.
